Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
