Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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