he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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