I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
