mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Fuck appropriateness.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
