I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
