you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
