I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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