better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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