I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
