I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
