just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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