I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
