I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
