Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
