please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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