So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
