Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
