I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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