he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
