i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
