you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
