I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
