good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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