He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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