My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
