I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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