how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
