Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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