butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
