We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize