Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
