i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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