I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
