The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
