Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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