I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
