My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
