We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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