Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
