He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
