that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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