I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
