I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
