so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
