So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
