I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
