remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Randomize
