I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
