You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
