Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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