as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
