Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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