Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
